AFAR ( DOWRY )

Getting married in Lepcha tradition involved the son family to adhere to rigorous rules to win the trust of the daughter's parents and herself. This system was called AFAR. The son in law had to request the parents for the girls hand along with many gifts ( dokos of brewed millet, dumvuns for the ladies, an entire pig, arok and many other customary gifts ) Besides the son in law had to spend the next 2-3 years in the girls house and help the family in their work.

 This custom proved too expensive for most Lepchas and therefore a lot of boys and girls never married. The widows and spinsters had the opportunity of remarrying again. This time the entire AFAR equation was not applicable. 
They therefore either married each other or the boys and girls who couldn't because of the AFAR system. 

 There is also a system where a spinster was allowed to remarry her NAMKUP, if they and their families agreed. This was considered acceptable and the concept of AFAR did not apply in this case.

 This also meant that most of them would have already crossed their re-productive age. Due to this system they, to continue their family would adopt sons from elsewhere or their married brothers and sisters who would carry forward their heritage and property.

 To this day when the boy family goes to ask the girl family for their daughter's hand, they follow some of the pointers I mentioned above ( Not all ).

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